There’s no more a sure fire way to turn an entire office into a giggling bunch of grade school kids than to bring in any ball-shaped dessert. Ball jokes have been flying at me fast and furious since 2 PM. A small sampling of quotes from my coworkers:
“Mike, can I try your balls?” — “Your balls taste delicious!” — “Your balls are so creamy!” — “I love your balls!” — “I was told to come try your balls.” — “Have you had Mike’s balls?”
I thought it had stopped, but I just had another coworker pop in and congratulate me about how delicious my balls were.
I’m calling it. 8 hours is officially my threshold for ball jokes. I didn’t think there could be a limit. I didn’t think a man could get tired of having his balls complimented. But there is. And yes I can.
But seriously, these balls? They ARE delicious. With a capital D. Full of sugar goodness, it will definitely be added to the imaginary menu of my imaginary cafe. Two Bites In! Look for it the summer after I learn how to run and maintain a business!
I originally saw a simpler recipe for these over on Bakerella. Her recipe would definitely save a busy person some time, but I like to make my life difficult. Where she uses packaged mixes and frosting, I decided to do this all from scratch. Yes, maybe I do have too much free time some days. It’s either bake, or sit through the Maury Povich-Steve Wilkos-Jerry Springer power block.
I harvested a couple of my previous successful recipes for this. The Red Velvet cake recipe originally came from the Food Network, home to Mrs. McCain’s Family Favorites. The frosting recipe came from Nigella Lawson’s Guiness Stout Cake. The main difference? I added a full 1 3/4 cups of powdered sugar to add some extra sweet (read: diabetic) consistency.
For the chocolate, you can use whatever. I prefer using Ghiardelli baking chocolate but I was out, forcing me to use 1 1/2 lbs. of Toll House Chocolate chips. People didn’t care. Chocolate is chocolate as far as the hungry masses go.
The best thing to do is to roll the balls out onto some wax paper, and toss them into the freezer to let them harden up a bit before dipping them in the chocolate. Send ’em back to the big freeze to let the chocolate harden.
These things keep perfectly in the freezer. People couldn’t actually tell they came FROM the freezer. And seriously, you’ll need to put some away. I was able to make over 5 dozen pieces. That’s a lot of balls to have laying around the house unrefrigerated.
Chocolate Covered Red Velvet Cake Balls
Red Velvet Cake
- 1 cup vegetable shortening
- 2 eggs
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 1 teaspoon cocoa powder
- 2 – 3 ounces red food coloring (Depending on how red you want it to look)
- 2 1/2 cups cake flour
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon vinegar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.In the bowl of a mixer, cream together the shortening, eggs and sugar. In a separate small bowl, mix together the cocoa and food coloring. Add the paste to the shortening mixture. Sift the flour and salt together over parchment. Add to the batter alternately with the buttermilk in 3 additions. Add the vanilla extract. Fold in the baking soda and vinegar. Pour the batter into 2 greased 9-inch cake pans. Bake for 30 minutes or until an inserted cake tester comes out clean. Let cool on a cooling rack. Invert the cakes from the pans.
Cream Cheese Frosting
- 2 cups powdered sugar
- 8 oz. cream cheese, at room temperature
- 1/2 cups heavy cream
Sift powdered sugar in medium-sized mixing bowl to break up any lumps. Add the cream cheese and mix until smooth. Mix in the cream until well blended.
Cake Ball Directions
1 1/2 lbs. Chocolate of your choosing.
After the cake has cooled completely (I toss mine in the fridge), crumble into a large bowl, mixing with the cream cheese. Use your hands. There’s no good way to do it otherwise. Yes. It is messy. Get over it. Let mixture chill in the fridge for a few hours to guarantee it will keep the ball shape. Roll out mixture into quarter size balls and lay on wax paper covered cookie sheet. Toss into the freezer for an hour or so to set.
Melt chocolate in microwave per directions on package. It’s safest to do it 20-30 seconds at a time and mix between each heating to make sure it’s melting properly.
Roll balls in chocolate and lay on wax paper until firm. (Use a spoon or forx to dip and roll the balls in chocolate, tapping off the extra.)
Makes between 50-60 balls.
Again. Ha. Balls.