Vegetarian Haggis. Wait…what?!

My mother and sister returned recently from their trip abroad to the U.K. Nestled in their pack of usual souvenirs (T-Shirts, Snow Globes, Statues) was possibly the most coolest/nastiest/vomit-inducing gift I’ve ever received.

I speak about Stahly Quality Foods Vegetarian Haggis.

What’s in Stahly Quality Foods Vegetarian Haggis you ask?

Britishsupermarket.com says it’s “made with the finest ingredients, including rutabaga, kidney beans, lentils, mushrooms, onions, peanuts, almonds, walnuts, oats, salt, and spices.

And how does it taste? RFT St. Louis says:

“How does it taste? A lot like haggis.

That is to say: Not very good.

Something else is wrong with this can of Stahly Quality Foods Vegetarian Haggis. The side of the can reassures potential purchasers that it contains “vegetarian skinless haggis made with the finest ingredients.” What was that? Skinless? What skin are we talking about? Onion skin?

What’s worse, the other side of the can informs us that this vegetarian haggis packs all the fatty punch of its offal ancestor. A mere half-cup packs a walloping 25 grams of fat — that’s 38 percent of the RDA. Put another way, for every 280 calories of Stahly Quality Foods Vegetarian Haggis, 220 of those calories come from fat.”

Based on that review, I’m now convinced my family is secretly trying to kill me.  Maybe they’re more upset about me moving to Chicago than I thought?  Maybe some RA Sushi employees paid them to snuff me once and for all?  Or maybe the International Haggis World Coalition has a more sinister agenda: Wipe out the vegetarians!

Without opening it, I have a few thoughts on Stahly Quality Foods Vegetarian Haggis.  The sound from the can when shaken sounds like slightly watery beans.  The slurping and slushing of the liquid is a fairly ominous one.

Second, I’m a little disturbed by the fact that when you actually shake the can it gets cold.  What kind of insidious coolant system makes us that liquid?

Am I still going to at least TRY it?  Hells yeah.  I mean, I think I HAVE to at least give it the ol’ college try.  I just need to find the right recipe to tackle what may be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten.

This entry was posted in Haggis, health, impulse buy, UK, Uncategorized, vegetarian. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Vegetarian Haggis. Wait…what?!

  1. Shona says:

    omg NEVER eat any sort of haggis from a can. NEVER.

    Vegetarian haggis is a real marvel, it obviously has a different texture to the real deal, but it tastes just as good. It’s really popular in our supermarkets and sells all year round. Usually it is sold vaccuum packed or in skins, like a sausage.

    NEVER EAT IT FROM A CAN.

    and don’t say I didn’t warn you! XD

    • TwobitMe says:

      Don’t worry. The can of veggie haggis sits in the pantry as something to bring out at parties. The sounds it makes alone when moving that can will keep me from eating it. Which supermarket do you work for that sells it vacuum packed?

  2. Unchainedaura says:

    Maybe because some of us don’t eat meat yet still remember enjoying haggis? or maybe cause it’s somewhat more appetising when people can actually give you a vague idea what is actually IN IT? as for that nasty tinned stuff if it aint macsweens it aint a veggie haggis at all merely assorted junk stuffed in a tin.

  3. Be says:

    MacSween’s is the brand of vegetarian haggis that appears to be so incredibly popular in the UK. It does NOT come in a can.

    http://www.macsween.co.uk/haggis/content.asp?PageID=20

    You can read a review of / ode to MacSween’s veggie haggis at the link below. It’s even written by a meat eater!:

    http://www.worldhum.com/travel-blog/item/robert_burns_would_have_scoffed_at_vegetarian_haggis_20080415/

    BTW, I don’t know this person. I just stumbled across his and your blogs when searching for a vegan haggis recipe. ;)

  4. Seedstar says:

    I had veggie haggis several times when I lived in Scotland. It’s lovely. I never had this brand though.

  5. goodbear says:

    shox! that’s hilarius!
    i’m sure they all had it comin’!

  6. shoxpopuli says:

    Maybe it’s made from — not for — vegetarians. At first glance, the ingredients list would seem to belie the notion, but perhaps the list has been left intentionally vague to mislead prospective consumers.

    Lentils = Angus and Aggie Lentil of Strathclyde
    Oats = The Oats Clan from John o’ Groats
    Peanuts = Peanuts MacTavish, former under-bailiff of Peterhead

    • Amanda says:

      Shox-

      I was reading this at work and started laughing right out loud at your post. Now we are all sitting around talking about what it would take for us to break open that can and dig in.

  7. Jen says:

    whatever for recipes. open that sucker up! don’t matter how you cook it, it’s still gonna be grooooosss.

  8. jeffsher63 says:

    If it’s made of all vegetables, it’s not Haggis….

  9. goodbear says:

    wow…i…i…i don’t know what to say. ok, i’ll try “why? why vegetarian haggis?”

    funny post!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s