A couple of friends here at work took the time and effort to leave some stories about their own experiences with hot sauce that should never be ingested, so I thought I’d share.
Up first is Jen, about her slightly foolish friend.
I have a friend, we’ll call him Pete (cause that’s his name,) who threw caution to the wind and disregarded all warnings about the secret, special, sign a waiver hot sauce that they keep in a cooler at Heaven On Seven and slathered it on a slice of white bread.
Silly boy missed the rest of dinner trying to wash out his mouth, throat and stomach and then ended up calling in sick to work the next day due to intestinal distress.
Yep. Beware of hot sauce served on a litmus stick.
That is all.
So true. If they have to pull out the science equipment to serve you hot sauce, just say no. You don’t have to prove your manliness (or womanliness) to anyone. If you’re trying to impress your friends, it won’t work. Because they’ll call you a wimp for not trying it and laugh at you mercilessly as you cry for the sweet release of death if you do. It’s a no win situation. That’s what friends are for.
Up next is Kristin, with her own tale of woe. Go ahead Kristin, you’re on the line:
About 12 years ago my grandfather, sitting at our local pub during one of his visits to Chicago, learned from the pub owner of a hot sauce the owner’s son had brought back from Louisiana. The owner brought the bottle over to us and each of us were handed a toothpick. My grandfather having been through a bypass and a host to a pace-maker opted out of the obvious challenge presented by the pub owner. I however was all in! This was the hottest thing I could have ever imagined. I was not prepared for the pain that just a few drops would inflict. My grandfather found it all very amusing his granddaughter stomping up and down the bar with her tongue hanging out begging for beer. When my husband arrived about an hour later, we gave him a toothpick and told him to taste it, I said it was not that bad, my tongue was no longer numb and the overall burning sensation was gone plus there was bread at the ready behind the bar. His reaction was one of surprise and disappointment, how could his wife put him through such an ordeal….how could I not? Our reactions to this sauce gave an awful lot of delight to our friends and particularly my grandfather. The hot sauce was Dave’s Insanity Sauce, I’ve never had any thing like it since.
Rule number two in the mysterious food code? Never agree to try something if it’s precurosered by, “Here try this.” Look around first. Is anyone else trying it? No? Put down the toothpick.
And if you’re looking for some crazy hot sauce shopping or gifts, and you happen to be in California, make sure you check out Hot Licks. On an excursion to San Diego a few years ago, I wandered into the store and was amazed at the vast amount of hot sauce on display. Floor to ceiling were covered in little vials of delicious pain. I didn’t even know where to start, but I knew that with no prices on any of the bottles, I didn’t want to ask about pricing. But, if anything, it’s a great little store to visit.